IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU, K?

I wanna talk to my fellow people pleasers/people pleasers in recovery.

I know it’s hard when someone doesn’t like us. We can start to question ourselves and wonder what it is about us that they don’t like.

We can wonder if there was a way we could have presented ourselves differently or if we said the wrong thing and then we start to obsess over every word said and every action taken.

But I want to you tell you that it may not be about you at all.

Yeah sometimes personalities don’t click or there isn’t a connection. That’s fine. We’re just going to have to deal with that. There’s people you don’t care to be around either.

But I want to offer a different idea - what if someone doesn’t like you because of what you represent?

I was at a gathering and there was one person who literally has never had a conversation with me, doesn’t know a single, personal thing about me, and refuses to make eye contact with me or acknowledge my presence, let alone say a word to me. Like goes out of their way not to be near me.

Remember, I’ve NEVER talked to this person before and this isn’t the first time I’ve been in the same room as them.

I started to feel those feelings creep up and then I realized that this person actually knows nothing about me and can’t have formed an opinion off of anything I’ve said, let alone done to them, therefore IT’S NOT ABOUT ME. I believe, in this particular situation, it’s about what I represent to them.

It’s weird, though, right, that someone has drawn a conclusion about how they feel about without ever getting to knowing someone?

Before this current version of me, I would try my HARDEST to try to get them to like me. I’d try to make conversation, compliment them, be overly nice… just go over the top... the works.

But this version of me now just accepted them for who they are and went about being myself. Because I don’t need their like to feel worthy. I’ve got the almighty God who’s obsessed with me.

And I’m pretty okay with that opinion.