Boundaries & Grace

Boundaries are one of my most absolute favorite things to talk about. It's what started me on my healing journey after my divorce in 2014. They're what gave me freedom to be me and to stand up for myself and to realize my needs and wants are equally as important as others.

I understand them and can easily identify boundaries that need to be implemented. That's not the hard part for me. What I've felt God teaching me this year is learning what it looks like to have boundaries with grace. That's where it gets a little tricky for me.

Can the two coexist?

What I've struggled with is the thought that if I show grace, am I teaching them their behavior is okay? If feels like it's letting them off the hook. But then God has endless amounts of grace for me and always accepts and forgives me no matter what I've done. I think that's the grace part.

However, He also allows me to make my own decisions and reap the rewards or consequences of those decisions. I think grace may be when people disrespect me and my boundaries I don't attempt to get even, shame them, expose them but to confront in a firm, loving, respectful way. To always forgive without holding a grudge.

To get a better understanding of what exactly grace is, I looked up the definition. The Merriam-Webster definition is "disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency (merciful, lenient; a temporary exemption or reprieve."

Grace doesn't always mean I reconcile and continue the relationship, but it also doesn't always mean I shouldn't. 🙃 I think the grace part comes in treating them with kindness, compassion, extending forgiveness, and then discerning what the relationship should look like going forward. First offense? I feel like they deserve another chance. 25th offense? Ehhh it might be time to take another look at continuing the relationship.

But the most important part is to bring it to God, process with Him, and see what He says about the relationship. Relationships are best when He's in the middle of them, don't you agree?

Clearly I'm still on this journey. I'll let ya know what else God shows me and what else I learn.

Thanks for processing with me 😘